Category Archives: Poetry

Full of Tears

In my life I have seen but never known,
Those people who seem to have forgotten
How to cry and weep and still be grown,
For such a sin it would be to have shown;
A sin against what? False masculine pride
Has broken the lost son who wished to cry,
For behind that fair visage of joy and cheer,
Don’t you know that that man is full of tears?

Everyday I keep bottled in my chest,
A scream and a wail: for what, I can’t say;
For all I’ve been left with since you’ve been gone:
A handful of memories to pass along,
And a bucket or box of rain for keeps,
The shattered pictures of tomorrow weep,
Gazing in the mirror, nothing is clear,
The wellspring of my heart is full of tears.

Is it as with the most acidic rain?
Would it burn the ground where stumbling, my feet
Thoughtlessly go and patter a refrain,
Drown out the ceaseless echoes of my brain;
For what type of man should I wish to be?
One whom it is never said to be seen,
As one who has known the hopes and the fears
Of mortal men, so weak and full of tears.

So alone I walk, afraid to project:
I saw a man with the face of a god,
Head held high, as if he had to protect,
Each and every rag that covered his neck;
I’ve never been one to self-actualize,
And I’ve never been one to wear a disguise;
His eyes flit away as soon as they draw near,
Afraid to recall the blessing of tears.

I watch my screen pixelate; afraid to
Release and let the dam be broken; the
Pressure builds and builds, I can feel it, too,
In the speckled starry skylines where blew,
The astral dust of dreams now forgotten,
I never thought this could really happen,
I don’t remember before; now I fear,
I’ll never be free of these cursed tears.

Across the auld wide ocean, where the rain-
Bows are fractured by the cresting brine, and
The turquoise sky waits for pale night to wane,
The tide always keeps its boundless refrain,
In the grotto where dwelling, I try to
Escape in the passage of time, I pool
Up the blind hours spent toiling for fear
That no god left us this ocean of tears.

Escaping I find, in the void unbound
That each star that I visit has its own song,
And though no ears will ever hear a sound,
In the endless vacuum of space I’ve found,
The company meant for those who alone
Through life have wandered and finally outgrown,
The broken armor which long trapped them here,
Whose eyes can no longer make any tears.

Free of Form

To leap free of form off the precipice,
Not to fall or fly but float o’er a forlorn
World that seems at night to be weeping, while
Here between star and sand, on the threshold
Between serenity and insanity, between
Silence and sound is only the perimeter,
The borderland in which no eternal salvation
Will trespass, where the wasteful cacophony
Of a new dawn is coterminate with the
Glacial silence of an ashen dusk.

A monochrome world of senseless division,
The gaps as seen from ensensed minds
Like canyons blossoming in the rain that
Cut them open, gave them form, and
All across their walls adorn
Such fleeting faults as eyes can know,
The transitive mind will writhe and
Agonize against creation which
Amneses its purpose, to destroy
Naught but nothingness.

How many can say they are ready to
Loose the cords of this physical
Force which keeps our steps ever
In motion around an endless circle
Of predetermined destination,
This force that would see a world
To never fly or float or fall
Down, immortal wings that will never
Kiss the august sun or dance amongst
The briny foam of the sea.

Freed from silence are the ears
Which to the celestial frequencies are
Tuned, and only the incessant and
Discordant voices of migrants lost in
A world they are too much with can
Serve to muddy the clear and vibrant
Tonality of the euphonious melody
In every speck rain trying to cleanse
The film from our eyes, every thunderous
Blast rattling against muted ears.

Here, where star and sand meld in
A twinkling fire cross the hollow but
Deathless dunes, so full of the
Once vibrant and vivacious particulates
Which burst from the fount of Gaia
And in sublime foolishness saw the
Dunes, not as an extension but a source
Of subordination, yet as our
Chains we thrust upon the world,
The more with earthly oblivion to be.

I worship naught but the void between
Our favorite lies and truth unseen,
Where to fit but in a place of
Absence, where else to feel more
At home than where there are no
Kindred eyes, for surely the world needs not
One more tepid and fearful voice to
Join in the silent choir, yet a counter
Melody is received like some foreign
Battle hymn; such a fool am I!

Should shape and form have meaning more
Than white noise on a broken screen
That ceaseless commotion of signals lost
Seems more to me a portrait of
The ordered chaos which so enamors
The broken minds or broken screens
Which perceive in life an unwritten path
Towards the pot of gold which myths
Promised to Man, MAN! who is naught
But a rat in a maze, an eternal experiment.

What do we seek? Is it never to leave
Or to seek at all times a moments reprieve
From the weariness worn by every
Face that has known but a glimpse
Of the calm and tranquil fraud of
Ignorance, to slip back behind the
Veil of thoughtless contemplation with a
Prescribed purpose; and so it is that
We seek not to transcend out of
Something, but rather descend into nothing.

As a rose is scorned from an unwanted lover,
Cut off from life and purpose
Now lost, thrown aside as an unwelcome
Reminder of dead dreams, who once
Held the promise of lustful hope,
Now is trod by boots as unworthy
To touch such beauty as nature
Wrought, that could have known so many
Suns, but now has been reduced to
Dust, that most human of elements.

Dust, how deep I wish to bathe
Where so many lives have paid their
Dues, to feel a thousand years of
Knowledge, of sunrise and sunsets
Seen over the sapphire seas, of
Hatred and love, to be washed away
With no more thought than is given
To the silent mouths, which for want
Of the body and blood, occupy the
Dark recesses of the periphery.

There do I find myself; with steps
So measured as must be unconscious,
I have wandered into the echoes
Of spaces, once possessed by the insane
Longings of fleeting memories,
Now naught but the voids that
Shape our minds, though unseen and
Unfelt, yet present in their
Absence, where are located the lost
Hopes of the unknown.

No true hatred may arise but that
Which from deepest devotion springs,
When needed no more and cast aside
As children forget their old playthings;
A chilling shade drops o’er the Fields
Of Asphodel, or life, as it were,
For when naught in one’s waning hours can
Bring to excitement, or arouse but a
Shade of the wonderment of years past,
Then is life become as purgatory as old.

Those crystals on which men cast their dreams
Are but a bandage for the heart,
Unfit to assuage the damnation following
Those who see in shadows their fear,
Never faced for free of tears do
Men desire themselves to be,
To float in dishonest harmony,
Gently rocked by the water
Rippling from the disparate, muted
Voices of those drowning underneath.

To fly free of form, when all we’ve
Known is bondage to a transient container,
Unfit to house the lowest kinds this
Species has ever seen, yet
With devoted denial our physical world
We toil our lives in service unconscious
For fear of ending as we came,
Yet nothing is ever to remain,
So it must be, that for myself I choose
Not life or death but the void between.

Old Heroes

Where, where do my old heroes lie?
Bereft of shining armor, spewing now
A putrid light to ill-define
What was never before in any doubt.
These were the ones in whom a fool,
Or myself, as I was soon to find,
Would place their hopes, for lacking not
In pleasant fantasies: a child’s mind.
Not a hint of recognition,
Divorced from the idealism of youth,
I cannot spy those men who gave
To me, the sweet dreams of a better truth.
Still innocent eyes are to demons drawn,
Atop the pedestals we placed them on.

Eyes of a Child

I looked in a mirror one soggy day,
As if to peer through a soft waning storm,
And hoping my shape would fly far away,
In release from this tempestuous form.
I barely caught it before it passed,
Just a faint glimmer, from eyes I’d thought dead,
That had long since forgotten the summer sky,
Or the soft grass on which we made our bed.
Those eyes used to sparkle beneath the stars,
Crackle and burn with the weight of the moon;
Their luster was lost behind time’s cold bars,
And forever now lost and out of tune.
And I’d trade it all for but one more day,
The eyes of a child to light my way

To Dance in Darker Dreams

Lay me down, my love, in shadows to dance in darker dreams,
Life’s sweet and twisted reprieve, no protest from above.
Sinking with death’s soft herald, I heard her close the door,
Into the aether now, to drink with devils ‘til the morning comes once more.

Songs of primordial bliss, when Helios first kissed the milky dawn,
Days when we knew no wrong, all beautiful dissonance missed.
A blessed stasis, but our souls grew restless still,
In ignorant light, we pined for the bite of a dark gray winter’s chill.

Storm-gray fountain rains, acidic in the lurid glow,
Turning to broken shadows, at the threshold of hope insane.
Trapped in this sickly tar, these wings now never to fly away,
The colors drop, flap in futile madness as shadows fall today.

Sink into rancid seas, to wash this mask right off my face,
Borne from a blessed place, carried on the sallow breeze.
Dive beneath fickle waves, and bathe with filth to wash away,
For beauty lies, it lives and dies; still children awaken today.

Lost in a deathless wood, where shadows come to pass the time,
And search for exits to never find, and if we only could.
What lies in between the light, and blackness, the crushing dark of night?
Come find us there, who have defiled the garden, brought colors to the white.

Perverse and twisted wind comes screaming through an icy vale,
Over the banshee’s gale, far away the angels sing.
Still mocking those who fell, like songbirds we weep in snow,
Crying out for penance, with voices mute, dream for fires of love unknown.

Awake into darkened morn, still turning to reach a lustrous dawn,
The night seems to last so long, in sleepless shadows worn.
As dreams they wither and melt ‘neath the relentless, destructive sun,
Still the struggle goes on, between light and darkness where only the shadows won.

Stay Golden

Stay golden; such words meant nothing to me,
Who was so young and was so free.
All their words proved to be but doublespeak,
A million promises they never could keep.

I remember the days before there was time,
Waking hours were but an endless climb,
Towards far flung futures not yet known,
Those beautiful lies we’re always shown.

At new awakening of spring within,
That first caused these cold lips to sing.
Our love was first, will it always last?
Surely it must in a life with no past.

Into each day I could sink like a stone,
Perfect isolation though never alone.
Never again will I journey so deep,
Now the way back is far too steep.

The simplest pleasures were still new to me,
Like a blanket I wore such naïveté.
But already unclean, my mind always dragged down,
I never needed eyes to see what was around.

Weaving well worn lies across the brain,
To not accept is to be insane.
And so foolish was I I thought to believe,
Such wishes as only come true in dreams.

If only my first angel would once more return,
The Christmas-time feeling into which we’re born.
With perspective come only those doubts which drive,
Straight into the fabric of being alive.

And perverting the mind that never unkind,
Would have lashed out in anger ‘gainst those who have time.
As for myself I wish only to lose,
A madness the world did not let me choose.

Lost Sunbeams

Oh but to loosen such vibrant flows,
As locked in chains, wind only dreams
To caress such silk where Eden grows,
And awestruck follows golden gleams.

Paradise slinking near behind,
Envious sorrows for never seen
Is beauty kept in chains divine,
That would bring light to shadowed scenes.

So release your bright, melodious song,
And let it fall upon the earth,
As angels who shall never belong,
But come to save and prove their worth.

Like travelers in an alien land,
Who long for one last taste of home,
But trapped in barren fields of sand,
Return from memories, again unknown.

To keep imprisoned beauties bold,
And bury deep within the bliss
From men who’d spit on Madonna’s throne,
Myself, I weep for what we’ve missed.

To dedicate myself, in perfect chaste
And thoughtless guard, and never sleep.
What perfection lies within our race,
Still locked in chains we cannot keep.

So fly now free from mortal bounds,
And join your kin, the lost sunbeams,
But forget you not such mortal grounds,
That could never hold lustrous dreams.

The Apathist’s Defense

Like a galley meandering down a tired stream,
While this verdant corridor glistens with a golden gleam.
Myself, with my eyes turned to nought but the ground,
Follow well-trodden paths without making a sound.

In a castle where lodges a legion of loons,
No windows will show how the grass turned to dunes.
So sheltered away behind comfortable lies,
No true word remembered while passing our eyes.

They dance in the forests; they’re locked behind trees,
And we tear down the doors because we’ve lost the keys.
Now I hear them laughing, for never they dream,
That the world should one day be torn out at the seams.

In prisons of steel which we chose by design,
Hearts withhold thoughts that we’ll never divine.
Cover my ears; I’ll let you choose the sound,
Anything beats this damn noise all around.

These eyes that are watching, now what do they see?
I never once thought they were looking for me.
If you say that they’re gone, no I won’t shed a tear,
Building up walls ‘til the end of my years.

As milky clouds melt into cool azure skies,
Leaving us now with a soft kiss goodbye.
Trapped within minds, now a treacherous haze,
Will cover the sun, confuse night with the day.

Not a thought could I spare, we were moving ahead,
Inexorably pushing towards that which we dread.
Now they’ve all gone away, where does the fault lie?
Well don’t look at me; I’m just another guy.

Like a galley meanders down a tired stream,
Pulled by the currents and pushed by the breeze.
All around they did dance, all the time that we missed,
For now let this stream bring me to the abyss.

Dreamcraft

I looked to call but never heard,
Her laughter towards a sorry form.
So hungry now I ate my words,
And walked beyond a silent storm.
Now still desired I to warm,
A cold and avaricious heart.
But lacking all ways to inform,
Here I stand, if ever to start?
But with me now, my sullen art,
So off to craft another soul.
Whose beauty words cannot impart,
Eyes of silver patterned with gold.
When the land of dreams meets the light of day,
You are with me then ‘fore you pass away.

First Into Heaven

First into Heaven, rush through the pearly gates,
You can’t hear me, I can’t see you,
No more time to wait.
First into Heaven, fly past the sunlit stairs,
I won’t lose you, you won’t lose me,
There’s too much time to care.

First into Eden, clipping the crimson rose,
Thorns and sorrow, leave for tomorrow,
Lost here in the glow.
First into Eden, garden without the rain,
Come tomorrow, there’ll be no sorrow,
If you’re coming back again.

Lost in the heavens, forgetting the earth below,
Don’t you see that what we’re feeling,
Only we can know.
Lost in the heavens, drift through the empty clouds,
What’s that you say? You’re leaving today,
No I don’t think that’s allowed.

Back in the garden, barren without the rain,
The trees are dying, I’m not crying,
I have no tears for pain.
Back in the garden, why did they close the gates?
You look so blue now, your lips don’t move now,
Don’t tell me it’s too late.