Full of Tears

In my life I have seen but never known,
Those people who seem to have forgotten
How to cry and weep and still be grown,
For such a sin it would be to have shown;
A sin against what? False masculine pride
Has broken the lost son who wished to cry,
For behind that fair visage of joy and cheer,
Don’t you know that that man is full of tears?

Everyday I keep bottled in my chest,
A scream and a wail: for what, I can’t say;
For all I’ve been left with since you’ve been gone:
A handful of memories to pass along,
And a bucket or box of rain for keeps,
The shattered pictures of tomorrow weep,
Gazing in the mirror, nothing is clear,
The wellspring of my heart is full of tears.

Is it as with the most acidic rain?
Would it burn the ground where stumbling, my feet
Thoughtlessly go and patter a refrain,
Drown out the ceaseless echoes of my brain;
For what type of man should I wish to be?
One whom it is never said to be seen,
As one who has known the hopes and the fears
Of mortal men, so weak and full of tears.

So alone I walk, afraid to project:
I saw a man with the face of a god,
Head held high, as if he had to protect,
Each and every rag that covered his neck;
I’ve never been one to self-actualize,
And I’ve never been one to wear a disguise;
His eyes flit away as soon as they draw near,
Afraid to recall the blessing of tears.

I watch my screen pixelate; afraid to
Release and let the dam be broken; the
Pressure builds and builds, I can feel it, too,
In the speckled starry skylines where blew,
The astral dust of dreams now forgotten,
I never thought this could really happen,
I don’t remember before; now I fear,
I’ll never be free of these cursed tears.

Across the auld wide ocean, where the rain-
Bows are fractured by the cresting brine, and
The turquoise sky waits for pale night to wane,
The tide always keeps its boundless refrain,
In the grotto where dwelling, I try to
Escape in the passage of time, I pool
Up the blind hours spent toiling for fear
That no god left us this ocean of tears.

Escaping I find, in the void unbound
That each star that I visit has its own song,
And though no ears will ever hear a sound,
In the endless vacuum of space I’ve found,
The company meant for those who alone
Through life have wandered and finally outgrown,
The broken armor which long trapped them here,
Whose eyes can no longer make any tears.

3 thoughts on “Full of Tears

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