Stay golden; such words meant nothing to me,
Who was so young and was so free.
All their words proved to be but doublespeak,
A million promises they never could keep.
I remember the days before there was time,
Waking hours were but an endless climb,
Towards far flung futures not yet known,
Those beautiful lies we’re always shown.
At new awakening of spring within,
That first caused these cold lips to sing.
Our love was first, will it always last?
Surely it must in a life with no past.
Into each day I could sink like a stone,
Perfect isolation though never alone.
Never again will I journey so deep,
Now the way back is far too steep.
The simplest pleasures were still new to me,
Like a blanket I wore such naïveté.
But already unclean, my mind always dragged down,
I never needed eyes to see what was around.
Weaving well worn lies across the brain,
To not accept is to be insane.
And so foolish was I I thought to believe,
Such wishes as only come true in dreams.
If only my first angel would once more return,
The Christmas-time feeling into which we’re born.
With perspective come only those doubts which drive,
Straight into the fabric of being alive.
And perverting the mind that never unkind,
Would have lashed out in anger ‘gainst those who have time.
As for myself I wish only to lose,
A madness the world did not let me choose.