Category Archives: Poetry

The Mad Carnival

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Trapped in this mad carnival,
This asylum of children where
Nothing has more meaning than
An empty sidewalk, or lilting
Raindrops on a barren windowsill.
Everything I’ve known, unseen
By other eyes that hold only
Frozen comfort.

In this land of copper carpets
And lurid lights.
This paradise of the body
Where no mind can breathe,
No heart can beat slowly
Where bands of rain play for
Deserted parking lots,
I am home.

No I can’t sell out, I
Never bought in.
When money is the currency of the heart,
And millions dance in pointed circles.
Where the land of dreams meets
The devouring sea.
Where the skies of hope touch
The waters of fire,
The colors of death.

The young mare, untainted by
Any stallions hand.
Runs off in search of
Mechanical mountains and is
Lost in the digital seas.
Where the dark is lost to
The light, there are no
Stars to wish upon.

Where time is lost to
Forgotten memories.
When the nightmare hour kisses
The hopeful dawn.
What madness should love,
A life with no soul.
Who dances in fire
Is always cold.

My languid body, my broken mind
If you could put me back together
I don’t think you would.
All signals are lost in this
Muted haze.
The graying smoke rings
Float away.
While the cracks in the sky
Bleed my body.

Leaves that lie, that pawn off
Freedom like a sick dog.
Where bridges lead only
One way, and streetlights
Plead for the bright of day.
When the hollow spirit is
Filled with poison,
I sleep under molten skies.

The tongue is tied, the words
Are clear but the body revolts
Against an honest rhyme.
A life that begs for air to breathe,
But fed only numbing tales
Of freedom to rise, to live for
Myself, if only I could be
Who was meant to be.

You cannot see, in crowds of hulks,
Where I’ve never known one
Person I’ve met.
Where hulking desire meets the
Shallow mind.
When nothing exists only in me,
When feeling has left when
Passion has died,
I am home.

Where does this winding path,
This final penance that was
Thrust upon me.
Where now does it cry
Where now does it languish
Where silent night comes
Only in deafness, and the
Mute laugh at empty words.

How does the world that dances
In rushing darkness,
How does the world that breathes
In crushing blackness.
How does the world that swims
In porous oceans.
How does the mantle not
Pass to me.

I’ve known every color, I’ve
Felt every shade.
In this mad carnival,
Where the masks never come off.
Where the mirrors reflect
No more than they see.
Where the absence of life
Makes me feel alive
I am home.

Out Into the Blue

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In madness, the warped mind twists and snakes upwards towards the light,
Yet remains forevermore in a dark and sickly night.
There I was, though with a memory that knew not where to start,
In this forest, black and ominous, that keeps you and I apart.
Running through the smothering haze of murky, poisoned fumes,
Where the trees cover a pallid sky and the end always looms,
I heard the voices shouting screaming cursing me for I,
I never knew the warmth that rested in a lover’s eye.
And though my dreams had offered once a chance I would be saved,
Now I felt my dreams would only haunt me to the grave.
All I’ve ever wanted is to run out into the blue,
And laugh and sing with all the rest but most of all see you.
See you and give you what the world could never give to me,
To love and dance and shine for everyone we’d ever see.
But I can’t seem to run away, this forest holds me close,
That sickly sweet and slithering comfort for which I am the host.
There’s something reassuring when you cannot run away,
The knowledge that tomorrow is no different than today.
But still I wonder, still I wonder, if there was a way,
Would I take the leap of faith or like all else just pass away?

It seemed like years I had been stumbling around here in the dark,
In this forest, in this prison ship I could never disembark.
When suddenly my eyesight left me, no it was just light,
Light that blinded me; I had forgotten day could follow night.
Behind me rose the towering trees, sentinels of the dusk,
But before me lay a sight I didn’t believe that I could trust.
A river, soft and mellow, meandering quietly through the day,
And far across the turquoise water, I saw the angels lay.
I was enveloped with a wonder known only to children’s minds,
By what miracle had I been brought here, only of my kind.
As I was watching ancestral spirits praying to the dawn,
A voice that seemed to come from me began to sing a song.
I heard of riches imagination would never dare to dream,
And lands where all the peoples would bow down just to me.
Then another voice said “It’s a lie” and doubt began to creep,
Inside my mind like nightmares do when children try to sleep.
Perhaps it was too good to be true, would all this wealth and power,
Really bring me happiness during my final hour?
So there I lay, a battlefield of cold lust and self-doubt,
Beside this river whose turquoise water seemed the only offer out.

But lo, what sound could wake me from this troubled reverie?
A new voice and a new song now were drifting on the breeze.
I couldn’t place the origin nor could I hear the words,
But there was something in the tune that I had never before heard.
It held a warmth and kindness, enough to soothe a troubled soul,
It didn’t need cold logic and it didn’t demand control.
Nor too were doubt and mistrust tones that echoed through my brain,
Those hallmarks of the mind which has embraced the insane.
Instead there was a nakedness and honesty inside,
The song which never claimed to have anything to hide.
Soon the river’s waters began to ripple and then she came,
Sailing in a boat with room for two, and one spot still remained.
I felt my heart begin to race, “Was this the chance I sought?
Salvation from the loneliness that clouds my every thought?”
The other voices began to sense a changing deep inside,
And soon they tried to warn me of the dangers of the ride.
“That boat will bring you nowhere, if you think that you’re trapped now,
Just imagine how hard life will be with no friends but the clouds.”
But the deceit could not be hidden from their poisonous words,
While in your song the purity of love was all I heard.

The boat pulled up along the shore, you beckoned me aboard,
That face that held a beauty I had so long adored.
Maybe all the doubts are true, but for what I desire most,
If in some universe there is a chance, I stepped off of the coast.
Into the boat and silence was the only sound I heard,
The voices that had plagued me had vanished without a word.
I looked at her, she looked at me, we pushed off from the shore,
With no doubts now that life could change and love last evermore.

When the Sun Falls to Earth

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In the dark and frosty morning of the first winters chill,
I was alone inside my home on old Adam’s Hill.
Awakening to another day who knew only gray,
Who knew only gray.
And all I wanted to do was roll back in bed,
And drift away to other lands where nothing would be said,
Nothing would be said about this cold winter day,
This cold winter day.
The last embers burned out, I watched as they cried,
For the will to go on living but finally they died,
They died and the warmth that had tickled my bones,
Would not reach my soul.
No this man whose heart had given everything it had,
No longer had the strength to feel happy or feel sad,
Since the world had taken the only thing I ever wished to love,
I ever wished to love.

It was in spring when flowers meet the first exciting dawn,
When the sun is up and birds are calling them to come along.
My heart was young, my mind was light, as I walked through the fields,
As I walked through the fields.
I was alone, but no I heard a song that had no words,
A song that birds would dream to sing, a song that could be heard,
Not with the ears or with the mind but only with the heart,
Only with the heart.
Then she came, I thought the sun had fallen down to Earth,
Her hair was so radiant as to blind like light at first birth.
And her eyes were like two crystalline stars in a dark dark night,
Giving hope and light.
Everyday I walked through the fields and everyday I found,
Another reason, another life when love was all around.
For to be near her was to be near something words could not define,
To be with the divine.

Soon the days grew longer, and I praised the Lord for this,
Anytime I was asleep was a time that I would miss,
I was not with her and my dreams were only to be awake,
Only to be awake.
I raced the sun to the dawn, and watched him exit west,
Bowing out to the moon and stars when loving is the best.
It’s the things that you can’t see that always taste the sweetest,
Always taste the sweetest.
Sometimes we would spend the day and never speak a word,
Just sit and laugh at the beauty that existed in our world.
It was only times like this that I would fear death,
When heaven was every breath.
We thought as one we breathed as one we loved as one,
My Eve and I were only meant to exist as one.
And the force that would tear us apart,
Even the devil felt ashamed.

As summer waned and autumn’s colors first swept crossed the trees,
We felt no chill together from the cool fall breeze.
We believed that life would never change, and harmony would go on,
Harmony would go on.
But from the first cough I was scared and soon she lay in bed,
I was right there by her side and together we both read.
Poems that passed down through the ages, looking now for wisdom,
What to do at the end.
I remember the day, a storm was raging as Satan sought his prize,
I watched her final breath escape her lips before my eyes.
But the skies had cleared and heaven reclaimed the only love I knew,
The only love I knew.
Half a man whose heart was now refusing to go on,
Life is just a petty game, for the ride we go along.
I knew that someday, someday I will feel my love again,
Feel your love again.